10 Things Parents Shouldn’t Do for Their Children never
Sometimes parents help their children too much. Adults can’t live for their children. Our job is to help them grow up and gain their own experience, and it is important not to overdo it.
The bright side has collected some things that we should never do for our children. Take this into consideration, and your children will be grateful to you.
1. Talk to them
It all starts with those happy moments when a little kid is asked, “Oh, what’s your name?” and we parents want to say, “It’s Jason”. It would be nice if that habit would stop when the baby learns to talk. But no, we manage to give answers even for our teenage children everywhere: in stores, at home, and elsewhere.
And what do we have in the end? We take the opportunity for our children to answer for themselves. You can give your child a hint of what to say if they ask you. But you definitely should never speak for them.
Do what? The next time you want to speak for your child, try to stop yourself. Let them speak for themselves.
2. Be their friend
Many parents try to make friends with their children, and they do not want their children to have any secrets from them. We can easily understand why parents want this, but let’s try to look a little deeper into it. Who’s a friend? It’s a person you can talk to on equal terms. Yes, you can say something to a friend.
But parents have a different role: they care about us and they love us. There’s no need to try to be very close friends. Let children look for their friends among people their age. Mom and dad are always there when children need love and support.
What should we do? Say no to be too close in a relationship. Learn to support and respect each other.
3. Do you want to be against the need
We know very well that broccoli is much healthier than candy and those new sneakers are healthier than dolls. So we dictate to our children (sometimes we hide it and sometimes not) what they should want. It’s like a joke: “Mom, am I hungry?” “No, you’re cold and you want to be warm.”
What does that sort of thing lead to? They suppress the child’s self, desires, and goals. Such things also make them a perfect victim or even rebel against everyone.
What do we do? Find the needs and wishes of the child. If you need to teach them good habits, don’t do it violently. Do it smoothly.
4. Help them too much
Children 2-3 years old can already put on and take off various clothes, wash cups, and put dirty clothes in the washing machine. Moreover, at this age children want to do it themselves.
And what do we do? We dress them almost until they get married. We support this behavior with the argument “He can’t do it!” We feed them, we don’t let them do it on their own, and we don’t let them experiment. And then we wonder when a teenager is untidy or doesn’t want to help his mother.
What do we do? Let the baby do as much as he can on his own.
5. Pick your flavor
We often try to impose our musical, book, and clothing preferences on our children. This is in good faith, but it reduces the personality of the child. And in many cases, it leads to a protest when children do the exact opposite.
Do what? Watch your favorite movies and listen to the music that you love yourself. Discuss your idols with your children.
6. Calculate your money
There comes a time in every child’s life when they have their own pocket money. What should not be done is to interrogate children and try to find out how much money they have left. The worst thing you can do is to check their bags or pockets. It kills trust instantly.
Does it matter how much money your son or daughter has left? Let them save for what they want.
Do what? Teach your children to be financially successful and let them do what they want with their money.
7. Choose your hobbies and interests
Mom wants her daughter to play the violin, and she’s ready to take her all over town to music school 3 times a week. And dad wants his son to play football every night. And parents often subconsciously try to impose a hobby on their children.
Do what? Be patient and watch your kids. Pay attention to their interests and aptitudes. Ask them what they like, and then let them develop in this area.
8. Accept their success as their
Caring “Insta-Moms” put up a lot of pictures and write: “We ate!” “We started walking!” and so on. Of course, they support their children a lot, but it is not the success of mothers – they are children! Who are “we”?
And when the children grow up, it gets even more serious. Mothers and dads start talking about how their kids graduated from college and found jobs. And they do it as if it’s just their merit. It’s easy to see how much the kids hate it.
Do what? Be happy for your kids’ progress, but don’t confuse them with your own.
9. Pick out their gifts
When a child can already speak, he has the right to choose what he wants as a gift. And it doesn’t have to be another T-shirt or a toy that should develop them in educational terms.
Of course, it’s not always possible to let them choose. But it gives children the most important thing: the ability to choose, make decisions and withstand the consequences. Such skills will never hurt in adult life.
What can I do? Let your child choose the gifts they want.
10. To invade their personal lives
This is especially true for teenage parents. Children have friends and first dates. This is normal and natural. Interrogation “Who’s this guy?” will only annoy your child. Many children will share such personal things with their parents if they feel safe.
Do what? Instead of interrogating your child, let him have his personal space. Do not ask too many questions if you see that they do not want to share the details. And, of course, never secretly read the texts of your children.
What secrets of parenting do you know? Share them in the comments section below!
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